The other day I confessed, first to Charlie, then to my followers on social media, that I had been allowing my bible and my study to remain closed.
Tucked away neatly on my end table.
All while I wrestled with some thoughts, emotions, and prayer.
I’m not perfect.
I never will claim to be.
But that’s the BEAUTY of our humanity.
None of us are perfect.
Rather than seeking perfection, I was gently reminded to seek God.
So I set my alarm early today.
I made myself some coffee.
And I dove back into my study.
And as God always does…I was met EXACTLY where I needed to be.
Page after page of King after King NOT seeking God.
Taking poor advice from others.
Idolizing things that are worldly.
Assuming that they could take things into their own hands and removing God from the equation.
Man how I do this more often than I’d like to admit.
And it’s easy to read these pages…okay wait…it’s NOT EASY to read these pages…have you TRIED to pronounce these cities and names?!?! 🤣😜 but…it’s EASY to read something that happened many years ago and stamp our own idea of how we would have acted had we been in the scene.
It’s a different story when we’re currently LIVING that struggle.
Grateful today for my spiritual journey…it’s messy…I’m not well versed…I can’t pronounce a single name in the Old Testament…I read a chapter only to realize I was daydreaming about food…I cuss and get angry…I’m selfish.
But I’m also trying.
Trying to learn who God is.
Trying to understand the history of it all.
Trying to see where my small piece of the puzzle fits in.
Trying to wrap my head around things that I’ll probably never get.
Try the best you can today.
Cry a whole lot.
And then wake up tomorrow and try some more.
That’s the GIFT we get from God.