Tales of a Control Freak

Are you a planner like me?! Do you envision how things will turn out and then proceed to master plan the entire scenario so it turns out EXACTLY how you designed it?

That’s me.

And girlfriend, if that is you then my heart goes out to you because I know the pain that comes along with this personality type.


The truth is…we AREN’T in control. We like to think we are. We put so much care and detail into our day and each tiny event that unfolds, that when our plans don’t work out, we end up pretty bummed to say the least.

That’s where I’ve been at the last couple of weeks. TOTALLY BUMMIN’!!!

And the truth of the matter is that it is all my fault. I spent the last year PLANNING how it would be when I got to California. I saw it SO vividly. So why are the plans NOT my reality?! Well, God has gently nudged me with this idea that I’m not the one in control. He is. They are not my plans. They are His.


Oh man, this was (and still IS) a rough message to learn! Often the reality of our dreams is different than what we expect. On that note, though, let me state this clearly right now that life is NOT bad for me right now. It’s not. It’s simply just not going as planned. For a person who is truly a control freak, this fact can be paralyzing.

And it has been.

But you know what two things I didn’t miss out on throughout this entire lesson?! Prayer and my workout. Without those two daily habits, I still might be lying lifelessly on my bed, staring blankly at the wall. The messages have been clear, including lots of scripture about how God doesn’t guide you into something that you ultimately can’t get out of and how He never leaves you, even when it might seem that way. Simply put…I’m in the valley, but I don’t have to stay here. There is something bright and beautiful waiting for me on the other side.


So despite life not going my way, I stuck with my workout calendar and I surrendered over my control to God’s plan (which, side note, isn’t a piece of cake and I’m constantly working on this). Here’s the thing you’ve gotta learn as a control freak, my friend:

Control what YOU can control. I can control my workouts and my health, which then allows me to function in a much more positive manner the rest of the day. I can also control the time I spend meditating with my thoughts, my prayers, and listening for God’s gentle whisper in my soul. These two things might not seem like much to some people, but to me…it is everything. It is what keeps me going.

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So, three weeks down of the first phase of ChaLEAN Extreme and one more week until I reveal my first 30 days of progress with all of you. I can’t say it’s been easy. But, truly, every struggle we endure and grow through brings us into a new and improved outlook on living. I’m working on enjoying the here and now and not worrying so much about what the future will bring, mainly because I know that life’s timing is strangely perfect.

Okay…off to finish up my final week of the BURN PHASE in ChaLEAN Extreme. 🙂 Stay tuned for my progress!!!


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